Posted by: Jen | December 16, 2012

What Brings Me Comfort

I won’t pretend like losing a child to a genetic disorder is the same thing as losing a child in a tragic event like the Sandy Hook school shooting. Regardless of how it happens,  burying a child is burying a child. Two and a half years outside of our loss, there has been one thing that has brought me comfort in my darkest moments. This is it:

We seek comfort from a God whose only child died.

God did not spare His own son from the evil of this world. This ache, this emptiness – God knows it. He has been there. He has not asked me to walk through pain that He has not walked through. In the desperate moments when I would point a finger and shake a fist at God who didn’t stop my heart-ache or the heart-ache of these dear ones who have just lost their children, the only thing that keeps me sane is this – He knows the deep darkness of my loss. We don’t know what went on in heaven that day when Jesus died but we know the ground shook and the sky grew dark. What parent who has lost doesn’t understand that? What parent wouldn’t rip the earth to pieces before watching their beloved die? What parent hasn’t willed the sun to stop shining?

God grieved for His beloved Son no less than we grieve for our own children. Even though He knew in three days Jesus would rise victorious, it doesn’t change the fact that an eternity of being together as One being was ruptured for those three days. He knows the incomplete feeling that is left without our children. He knows  that the knowledge of their resurrection isn’t enough to make the pain of our separation all better.

He knows. He knows. That is what comforts me.

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Responses

  1. I hope you and your family are doing well. I miss your updates. I don’t think I’ve ever commented, but I’ve been reading your blogs for years and really enjoy them.

    • Thank you for your comment and for reading for so long! We are well! Life with a toddler makes it difficult to do much of anything, but it’s wonderful 🙂 I’m hoping to get my act together soon enough to start posting here again!


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